forever and after

my dearest,

i've missed you very very much since the last time we shared time together..its been etched in my memory that i know i will treasure for as long as i had lived..

i've been turning it over and over in my mind lately.
knowing that those times were the happiest and memorable memory that i will cherished.


i've reread our messages for at least four times now, i'd probably read it more times before im through.

i've been sitting here...looking at your picture, getting more humps like every minute. can't barely explain how such a simple thing can mean so much to me..

i've really wanted that picture more than anything else, as of this moment...well not probably more than yourself to be here instead.


i've been thinking about you my love..


i keep on wishing i could be with you.

i wanted to leave here in the worst possible ways, just so i could be with you..

but things don't look too good as of yet.. i know i did some things that made you feel bad and spoiled what used to be a good bond between us..for that i apologize..

i never been so lonesome in my life as i am right now..

im completely lost without you my love..

i never realized i could ever missed a person so much,

i dont know how much longer should till im able to be with you again my love ...

for me to tell you personally that i miss and love you...

Do i really need to do blog updates?

as i sit here in front of the pc, contemplating on what im gonna do..aside from responding to some plurk posts or checking out my facebook and tagged account...i suddenly remember my blog...so what would i put in here right now?

should i post my sketch of dionisia pacquiao?

or should i tell you about my day?

~> journal entry # i dont know anymore, the date is may 11, 2009, monday, i woke up to the sound of laughter coming from outside..i reckon it's my brother probably watching whose line is it anyway from our pc..i shrugged, then do some stretchings while still in bed. then i got up...went to the toilet do some morning rituals...check to see what's going on and then my sister asks if i want to go to the mall..it might be out of boredom or the urge to go somewhere besides home so i said yes, knowing that by the next 20 minutes or so im starting to hate going through it..it rained hard and the traffic is bad..i went there and the mall is crowded by so many people and then we stroll around and bought sandals for my nephew and then eat at 4pm..my first meal of the day...then they went to get some groceries (i think this is the time when i am enlightened about my purpose of being there..im the errand boy darn..) so needless to say i still tagged along cursing to myself for forgotting my wallet, for if i got it i may go home a bit early...but nonetheless im still there and i have to do it. so after the agonizing time of going around picking something putting it in the cart,and the touble of waiting in a long line to pay for it we hail a cab then proceed to go home where i sat in a back and tried to sleep for the duration of the drive home..only to get woken up just when i get my groove to sleep cause we're near our home...so bummer...and i waited till i got my turn on using the pc. then here i am.


so what to do now?


maybe i should write a poem:

~ i wish to be near you
how i wish i was there
there's nothing i can do
to show you that i care

my words can't reach you
no matter how hard i try
i hope you know it's true
i'd rather die than just lie

.... i still think of you i hope you know that...it may be silly but i know its true for forever maybe there waiting for me to decide my fate...i sit and wait...waiting still...only to find out in the end that it is all too late...

**i posted this on my multiply blog last

May 11, '09 4:12 PM

just so you know :P