come at me..
feel me breathe...
embrace my body as your caress my soul...
lift me up and then let me go...
take my woes, take my sorrows...
leave them be beneath the gallows...
and soon my mind will be free
as the wind will carry me.
On sadness, pretention and faith
seeking my memories
from this vast ocean of sadness
following the waves of lies..
in the end i was alone
the time that i'm drifting
and shaking from coldness
i feel numb and blue
should i wait for you
this time i'll find
the memories left behind
this time i'll find
the truth beneath all these lies
in time i will find..
in time i will be fine.,
so wait for me..
this time.
=========================
the memories shaking from all the lies that you keep
should i worry for every moment that you speak?
that for every word i hear from you i cry... i weep
mourning each time cause i know deep down i'm weak
still i listen, i know my heart wont break
but in every time in every way my heart aches
the sorrows i'm reaping i know i must endure
ill stay strong for me to find the cure
it's past midnight and still i'm awake
should i sleep now for my sake?
i feel shallow and empty at the end of the day
hoping this feeling would go away
why do i lie everyday to people i meet?
pretending i'm alright when i know i'm not
should i smile and speak every time i greet?
wasting this moment that i should keep
=============================
i am a great pretender
i know what i am
i wear mask of different emotions
to hide what i feel
for them to stay away
am i wrong for disbelieving
these thoughts that haunt me when i am sleeping
should i wake on time and start preparing
for i know in time that i should be really leaving,.
==================================
come find me, i am lost
in this vast horizon of dreams
i look for the one who can see me
in reality or so it seems..
come look for me, i'm still here
i've got nowhere to run and i'm not hiding
i stay standing still and waiting
they seem so far and blurry yet so near and clear
go forward and don't look behind
for i know deep inside i'll survive
keep on searching and you will find
the reason for me to be alive.
in this moment all seems to be so clear
i know for one all will be near
the search for truth i am still looking
no matter where i look ill be back here.
mending sorrows in stillness of the night
here i am once again
thinking aloud as if in pain
finding answers to questions i presume
will take more time not a minute too soon
shall i make my own decisions?
or keep on prying for others opinions?
would i find a way out of here
i feel lost looking for a way in
still i search for truths beneath the lies
in moments of trials i endure and lie
saving up some strength to go on learning
keeping promises to the one whose deserving
to say what i think is right
and hide the secrets i keep
towards the sunlight i await
in darkness where my dreams sleep
finding serenity while being alone
through repentance of sins that i atone
for the hearts i did once broke
slap my conscience till it woke
to everyone who knows this
i shout my praises to you
to some who feels the same
i share the compassion you feel too
goodbye my almost lover
should i expect the pieces to fall into place?
or should i let them take another course?
shall i remove that sad look on your face?
for you to hurt me again without remorse?
maybe i could stay here by your side
for you to be happy and see your smile
i will fight the waves and break the tide
for me to get to you even just for a while
but all of this were of no use to you
for the feelings that i own have no value
warped by the idea of you loving me too
and the sad reality that my time is due
i wait for some time for these feelings to subside
tranquility didn't come no matter how hard i've tried
i pity myself for being weak and useless
for now i leave myself numb and in distress
so goodbye my almost lover, i hope this is the last
if ever you found my letter i hope you wont let it pass
as much as i want this not to end but i know it wont do
for being with me is the least that you want to
*i have made this entry last sept. 9, 2009 at 12:37pm
Mga naiwang agam agam ng nakaraan (unang buslo..sablay)
habang naghahalungkat ako ng mga dadalhin ko para sa volunteer duty ko, kagabi ay may mga hindi sinasadya akong nakitang mga dokumento na kung aking sisipating mabuti ay ating malalaman na ito ay mga kasinungalingang lamang (okok) haha
ito ang aking nakalap na impormasyon ukol sa nasabing mga kasinungalingan (okok).
mga pananaw ukol *sa akin* mula sa aking kamag-aral ng ikaapat na antas sa haiskul.
POSITIBO
-magaling sa math -4
-good friend -2
-mabait -27
-nanlilibre
-kalog -4
-palatawa-2
-nakakatuwa -4
-"gentleman"
-tahimik -9
-marunong sa klase/matalino -7
-"thoughtful"-2
-magaling mag-drawing
-madaling pakisamahan/kausapin/pakiusapan -7
-magaling magcounter-strike
-masayahin-2
-matulungin-3
-simple-3
-palabiro
-di madamot
-oks lang-4
-understanding
-makulit-3
-kwela
-totoong kaibigan-2
-friendly-5
-masayang kasama
-may sense of humor -2
-ok/kwelang kasama
-cool
-mapagbigay
-sweet
-cute
-swabeng sumayaw
NEGATIBO
-pikon-4
-mapang-asar-7 (sc ng isa: pero ok lang)
-nasa loob ang kulo-2
-torpe* -4
-wala -5 = (sidecomment ng isa: technicolor kasi yan)
-kumag
-mayabang
-no comment -6
-madaldal
-makulit -3
-mabait ba o madamot ka? (confused?)/ i don't know
-masungit
-nakakapikon kapag nangaasar ng wala sa lugar
-mahilig manghiram di naman binabalik*
-careless*
-baboy sa sarili*
-tamad habambuhay*
-1 drug addict*
-minsan corny
-nagpadala ng bastos na text message (sc: haha naalala ko to wrong send e)
-bungisngis
-tamad magkulay(sa drawing)
-di kami masyadong close/di pa kilala
-"seryoso"
-minsan weird
*galing sa iisang tao lang(laki ata ng galit sakin nitong taong to haha)
**Ibang sidecomment na mahaba at hindi bullet-type**
~"Tahimik siya nang unang dating pero ng tumagal ay nahawa rin. Maingay na ngayon. Hindi gaanong mayabang slight lang. madali siyang pakiusapan kapag mabait ka sa kanya, kung hindi 'Better luck next time'". "SIMPLE - totoy MAGISIP"
~"Mabait. Okey makisama. matalino. Simple lang! Sometimes nakakatakot magalit kasi masyadong mabait! But infairness ha, bagay kayo ni *****! Uuuy! That's all!!"
~"mabait!!?, thoughtful! grabe di kita mareach!.. keep up 'd good work. no comment la ko ma-say..."
~"cute ka kaso you don't know how to yourself as a grown up man. sweet ka rin sana but you always put it in a way of 'biro' And ang pinaka naaappreciate ko sa'yo is yung pag-a-approach mo sa'kin parati, yung pagpapangiti mo sa'kin."
~"ikaw, alam mo ang lakas mong mang-asar at talagang pikon na pikon na ko sayo. ang sarap mong sapakin 'pag nang-aalaska ka. Pero nakikita ko sa'yo mabait ka at mapagbigay at saka masarap kasama."
naweirduhan ako sa mga nagsabi na ako ay "smiling face" parehong meron sa positibo at negatibo pa (doh)
may 2 kasunod pa to. baka sakaling sipagin ako e gawan ko na lang ng scanned image yung 2. kasi mas convinient (okok) pero kayo na ang maghusga kung totoo ba ito o kathang isip lamang.
(pwede magpascan sa inyo? haha)
revealing the truth to ourselves, isn't that bitter-sweet?